2-7-21 Shoes and Laces and Lanes
Quote: “Don’t let nobody who ain’t been in your shoes, tell you how to tie your laces.”
I know this quote doesn’t use proper English and if that makes you cringe, I’m okay with it! The message is worth it. It basically screams the phrase: stay in your lane!
Something you may not know about me is I love Converse shoes. I never had the real ones growing up and so I now I am spoiled with every color and style possible by my hubby and children. Every color has a special meaning and memory. Mother’s Day. My birthday. Christmas. My fave pair is my silver sparkly ones they got me! Oh how I love this pair. I don’t just love how they feel – I love how they make me feel. Funky. Cool. Joyful. Inspired. Confident.
But I don’t care what kind of shoes you wear, whether they have laces, zippers, or buckles – they are your shoes. Your path in life is not a cookie cutter of anyone else’s life. It is unique, just like your shoes. (And if you don’t prefer shoes – your boots, slippers, or flipflops are unique, too.) But when other people try to walk in your shoes and tell you how you should do something, you need to learn to take their advice with a grain of salt.
Most people really do just want to help. Their heart is usually in the right place and you just have to chuckle when they offer unsolicited and way off advice. I remember a mom in a playgroup tried to give me advice on how to parent my sons once and as I looked at her 2 darling, well-behaved girls sitting in the chairs, my 3 wild child boys were circling the room! I just politely smiled and laughed inside. She had no idea how hard my life was or how hard I was trying to figure out this boymom thing!
But my challenge to you is something I’m trying to learn and teach my boys: read the room. Think before you speak. Before you offer advice to people, really think it through. Did they even ask for your advice? Or were they just wanting you to listen? Sometimes people just want to be heard. But when we step into the know-it-all role, people can see it a mile away. No one wants to be around a person who thinks they know everything about everything.
Do others often ask you for advice? If they don’t, perhaps you’ve been giving unwanted advice to people that didn’t really want it in the first place!
I love the nuggets in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 3:7 says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes…” When we start to think we know what’s best for everyone, we start down the slippery slope of entitlement. We tell people which path they should take, which decisions they should make, what conversations they should have, and we alienate ourselves from the very people we thought we were trying to help.
Keep humble. Ask others if and how they want to be helped, not how we think they need helped. And then stay in your lane. If you don’t, you might lose the privilege of walking through life with them.
