10-10-21 Settled Souls
Quote: “Sometimes, you need to make decisions that hurt your heart, but calm your soul.”
Life is full of tough decisions. I’d love to share a few of my hardest choices.
The first one was a job offer. I had taken my first teaching job in Bay City and I loved it. But my heart was missing Grand Rapids. This city had become my second home and I missed my college friends. I decided to interview for a position in a very hard to get into district in East Grand Rapids. As the saying goes, the best time to look for a job is when you have one. Somehow, I survived their grueling interview process and was offered a job. It was an opportunity of a lifetime. I shared the news with my co-workers, my family, and new friends. But as the week went on, my heart began to stir. Bay City had taken a chance on me and given me my first job. I was close to home and my family. I began to realize that though my heart was aching for familiarity across the state, my soul would be in turmoil being so far from my loved ones. I declined the job and stayed. Such a tough decision but I had to follow that deep instinct to stay. And God sure blessed that decision because that school year I stayed in Bay City? Yeah, that was the year I met my husband!
Another tough decision was our decision to not have anymore kids after our third son Logan was born. I had dreamed my whole life of having a whole houseful – at the very least 5! I’m serious. The more the merrier. But my pregnancies were not the greatest. With Brady, my blood sugar levels were unstable, with constant changes to my diet and finger pricking. With our second son Carter, I was giving myself 4 insulin shots a day to keep pre-term labor from starting. It was beyond scary. By the time it came for Logan, I was on bedrest because even 7 insulin shots a day could not keep both of our blood levels stable. My heart may have wanted my own basketball team but my soul knew enough was enough. Mark did not want to raise these boys on his own and good health was way more important than my heart’s desires. So far, after 10 years of testing, I’ve been lucky enough to keep diabetes at bay.
Forks-in-the-road decisions can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Anxiety and worry can cause us to start popping Alka-Seltzers. These tough experiences have taught me one thing – I must rely on my faith to get me through them.
See, God wants us to involve him in all our messy decisions. He doesn’t want to be our last resort, after we’ve talked to all of our friends and family. He wants us to pray and pray hard. There is a verse in the Bible that had always baffled me until I realized how true it was. It says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.” Ceasing means stopping. So according to the Bible, we should always be in prayer, morning, noon, and night. That seems a little bit much doesn’t it? Well it does… until you are at that fork and have no idea which way to go. Then prayer is all you’ve got!
I urge you to still make your list of pros and cons when stuck on what to do. But I challenge you to cover that list in prayer. Ask him to show up and show off. Ask God to make it so clear to you which way to turn. Ask him to put people in your life who will appear out of the blue to direct you toward the path you should take. Ask him to give you verses and worship songs and Bible stories that will give you clarity. Ask others to pray for you on your behalf.
The ultimate goal is to be brave enough to ask him to make it so obvious of which way to go, that no matter what our heart feels is right, we will make the right choice and allow him to lead our destiny.
The peace of mind that comes from simply obeying our Heavenly Father is what will get us through the aftermath of a hard decision. We may not understand God’s timing or leading but we must obey. Just like when Jesus calmed the storm on the boat with his disciples and just like when Noah built an ark in the middle of nowhere, he will calm our souls when we listen to his voice rather than our own.
