5-15-22 No Shame in My Game

Quote: “There’s no shame in admitting that you were previously speaking from a less informed place.” – Kelly Hayes

I love pie.  Raspberry, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb – yum, yum, yum. Banana cream is my absolute favorite.  But one kind of pie nobody talks about much is a big ol’ slice of Humble Pie.

You know what I’m talking about.  That moment where you’re like, ooooh. I had no clue!  I get it now.  I was way off.  Now I know!  There is even a saying called “Eating crow” which means admitting your mistake or defeat.

I admire those that are like the author and can say okay, what I knew to be accurate is no longer true.  It takes a humble person to admit their mistake.  We all make mistakes but we don’t usually broadcast them for the world to see.  We usually handle it quietly, admit it to a few, and move past it quickly, hoping not too many people witnessed it.

But what if we looked at mistakes differently?  What if we viewed them as beautiful opportunities for growth, boldly telling those around us we are now at a different place of understanding and can now see another viewpoint we’d missed before?  What if in handling our mistakes this way, we inspired others to handle their misinformed beliefs differently?  It only takes a spark to start a fire!

I know this way of thinking may seem contrary to human reasoning but I think the world needs more humble people.  Being prideful is easy.  Taking a humble approach is hard – but so admirable! The Bible says in Proverbs 11:2 “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  Such powerful words!  Being humble speaks volumes about a person’s character.  Nobody idolizes a person that is never wrong.

I am trying so had to teach this in my classroom.  The first week of school I tell my students that our classroom is a “risk taking, mistake making classroom.”  I tell them right away that I will do my best to be the best teacher I can be, but that I am going to mess up.  I’m going to forget to do something or do something wrong – and so are they.  And it’s okay.

But how we handle our mistakes is what counts.

Recently, I was doing a math problem under the document camera for all my students to see and I made a computing error.  Because my students know it is a safe place to bravely raise their hand and respectfully share, one of my students said, “Excuse me Mrs. Z?  I think you added it wrong there.”  After my mistake was called out, I had 2 choices: I could become defensive and quickly brush it off.  Or I could take a bite of humble pie, acknowledge it, and model how to handle making a mistake.  I replied back, “You are totally right.  Thank you for pointing that out so respectfully.  How about I slow down and try that problem again?” I was trying to model for them how to confidently and humbly admit your faults.

We know that knowledge is power.  We do research, read articles, cry hearing other’s stories, and get to know different types of people to become the most informed humans we can be.  We make assumptions based on what we encounter.  We can’t possibly know everything about everything and we can’t possibly be able to empathize with everyone’s situations.  Until we figure out a different truth, we carry around with us ideals that we believe in.  When those are challenged or changed, we need to normalize changing our minds once we discover a new truth.  And then take it one step further – not just changing our minds but sharing with others that we have changed our minds!

What a powerful thing it is to be able to say, “I’m not ashamed – I just know better now.”

Sidenote: When you read a quote, I challenge you to do a quick search on the author.  I’ve never heard of Kelly Hayes before but it turns out she is an author, organizer, and movement educator.  She has co-organized major protests and campaigns during heated political moments.  She has been involved in championing many different causes, including mental health, schools, police torture, Native Americans, prison abolition, and migrants.  It kind of gives a little bit more context to her quote doesn’t it?  She probably encounters so many people with different belief systems and she has made it her life goal to help them become more informed.  And I’m sure she has changed how she stands on issues over the years – just fascinating!