4-11-21 Clear not Cloudy

Quote: “Don’t do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily upset.” – #SpeakLife Toby Mac

There are a group of around 40 women in Michigan right now that are in the middle of a Bible Study on the book, “Boundaries.”  I highly recommend it for many reason (over 3 million copies sold!).  But the one thing this book pointed out right from the beginning was how important it is to not make boundaries or rash decisions without truly waiting on God to help you through your next steps.  I have had to learn this lesson the hard way many, many times.

Wait it out 24 hours.

I have typed up texts and emails and messages so many times and then let them sit.  There is power in playing the waiting game!  Sometimes God softens your heart and you feel completely different a day later.  Sometimes you go to bed and wake up feeling very different than when you went to bed.

But I love how this quote makes us focus on what can happen when we make decisions when emotions are involved.  It reminds me of the story in the Bible about David.  The Bible says that David was a man after God’s own heart.  But listen to what happened to him!  Remember the little boy who killed the giant with the slingshot?  Yeah, he went on to do even bigger things for God and the kingdom.  But one time, his quick decisions made for a horrible outcome.

David saw a woman bathing on the roof.  He sent someone to find out who she was.  He slept with her and she got pregnant.  He then gets the woman’s husband drunk.  Then – wait for it – he puts her husband on the frontline of the war going on and he is killed in battle!  Later, David and Bathsheba’s child gets sick and dies.  I’m not saying God killed their child.  But I am saying that David made a permanent decision to sleep with someone else’s wife during a moment of temporary lust.

I love that the Bible keeps it real.  The Bible isn’t full of perfect people with perfect lives.  Far from it!  It is filled with people just like me and you, who struggle with hurts, habits, and hangups.  We are trying our best to navigate this world and be the best people we can be.

So the next time you go to make a decision that could have permanent consequences, be careful to consider all the possibilities if you make the decision when you are wounded.  As I teach my kindergarten students – hurt people, hurt people.  When we say or do things that affect ourselves and others out of a place of pain or hurt, we aren’t thinking clearly.  Our emotions get in the way.  We can scar people with our choices.  Do you really want to end up being the person that someone else sits in a counseling office over because you’ve hurt them so badly?

We need to take time.  Ask the advice of trusted, Christian advocates.  Don’t make that post, send that text, make that phone call, shoot out that email, or show up on that doorstep without being covered in prayer if it’s a decision that will impact your life.  It says in James 1:19, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”  Those are strong words of caution from a very wise man in the Bible.  Sometimes all you need to do is sit back and watch the chips fall as they many.  Let God handle the big stuff.

Lastly, I have heard this analogy used many times over the years but I love it every time I think of it it: imagine you’re holding a tube of toothpaste.  If you press hard, all the gooey minty fresh stuff will come oozing out.  But have you ever tried putting that stuff back in the tube once it’s out?  Yeah, it doesn’t work!  That’s exactly how our words and actions are.  There is no putting those permanent decisions back in our wounded hearts or erasing people’s minds with our actions.  Once it’s been done, time can’t be rewinded.

Just like you’re not supposed to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry (or hangry!), don’t make decisions that permanently affect yourself and others without waiting until you’re not wounded.  Remember, listen first, take lots of time before speaking, and don’t let emotions get involved.

Clear hearts and minds…not clouded ones.