2-23-20 Be Selective

Quote: “Be selective with your battles.  Sometimes peace is better than being right.”

Being a first born, I can attest that sometimes there is this strong, uncontrollable urge that comes out of no where, to want to fight to the end to prove I’m right about something.  Anybody else out there ever feel this way, even if you’re not a first born?

I will see a grammatically incorrect or misspelled post and it feels like it is almost necessary to correct the person.  Since when did I get the authority to become the English police?  Would I want someone getting out the microscope over every little word and sentence I wrote or spoke?

I will hear someone give information in a group situation and then I can hear nothing else anyone is contributing because I’m trying to figure out a nice way to explain that what they said isn’t actually 100% correct.  Since when did I become the smartest person in the room?  How would I feel if someone called me out in front of others?

I will go to an event or place and take note of all the things I would do differently if I was in charge because I’m positive my ideas would be so much better.  Since when did I get the idea that everyone has to do things my way?  Would I want someone to do that to me with something I worked hard to create?

The list could go on and on.  And I know I am not the only person out there that struggles with this!

Somewhere along the way I heard the phrase, “Pick your battles.”  I think it might have been in one of those books about raising toddlers.  The advice was to not be so strict and rigid about everything but then when necessary, take a stand with the non-negotiables so they know you mean business.  I might not care what my teen’s hair looks like or what color it is, but I do insist he wash that hair daily by taking showers.  I might not care that my kindergarteners are loud in my classroom but when they enter those hallways, they know to be quiet and respectful because there is learning going on in other parts of our school.  It’s important to pick your battles.

There is something very satisfying about being selective.  There is power in not getting your way or always being right or correcting others.  It’s called kindness.  Being kind gives you the chance to give others spoonfulls of grace.  Sometimes the peace that comes from keeping your mouth shut can even be empowering.  You can’t be right all the time.  It’s impossible.  So don’t try to always make everything a battle.  Stand firm on the big stuff.  But don’t sweat the small stuff.

My son Carter’s favorite verses in the Bible are in Matthew 7:3-5.  Listen to this wisdom from Jesus himself: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time where is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

And bam, there you have it…not much more to say after verses like that.  Message received!  Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we spent more time focusing on supporting and encouraging and celebrating others rather than proving we are right or superior?!

I don’t know about you but I want as much as peace in my life as possible!  I need to start being more selective and instead pick my battles for when it REALLY counts.

May we all bite our tongues and focus on fixing our own crap first.